If you feel like your partner just isn’t hearing what you’re saying, you’re not alone. Over time, many couples will experience this feeling of disconnection. It’s easy to feel like your voice doesn’t matter in a relationship when you’re constantly being shut down or ignored. But the good news is, that there are ways to get your voice heard and make your relationship stronger in the process.
In any relationship, whether it be with a significant other, family member, friend, or co-worker, it is important to have a voice. That doesn’t mean that you should be the one talking all the time or that you should always get your way, but it does mean that you should feel comfortable expressing yourself and speaking up when you need to.
It’s never too late to have a voice in a relationship. As long as you’re willing to work with the person you’re in a relationship with, there is always a way to reach a solution to help you feel better. You don’t have to be passive and just take what comes your way. Here are 10 steps you can take to find your voice in your relationship:
1. Speak up when you have something to say
Don’t be afraid to share your thoughts and feelings with your partner. They need to know what’s going on with you in order to be a good partner. If you’re feeling silent and unheard, it’s time to speak up.
According to verywellmind If you don’t ask for what you want, you’re never going to get it. Your partner isn’t a mind reader, so you need to be clear about what you want and need. If you’re afraid to ask for what you want, you’re not going to have much of a voice in the relationship.
2. Try to be confident in front of your partner
Confidence is key. If you’re not confident in yourself, it will be very difficult to have a voice in a relationship. You need to believe in yourself and your ability to communicate effectively. Think about times when you’ve been successful in the past and use those experiences to build your confidence. (source)
If you don’t feel confident, fake it until you make it. Remember, you’re an equal partner in the relationship, and your voice deserves to be heard.
3. Stop negative self-talk
A lot of times, we hold ourselves back because of negative self-talk. We tell ourselves that we’re not good enough, that we’re not worth it, or that we’re not capable. But that’s not true! You are worthy and you are capable. So instead of listening to that negative voice in your head, start speaking kindly to yourself.
If you’re constantly telling yourself that you’re not good enough, or that your opinion doesn’t matter, you’re going to start believing it. Change your self-talk to positive affirmations, and believe that you are worthy of being heard.
A large-scale study found that rumination and self-blame over negative events were linked to an increased risk of mental health problems. This is because when we constantly dwell on negative thoughts, it can lead to feelings of depression and anxiety.
It can also make us more likely to engage in unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as substance abuse. So it’s important to be aware of the negative self-talk you’re engaging in, and to try to reframe your thoughts in a more positive light. (source)
4. Take a stand for yourself
When you’re in a relationship, there will be times when you need to take a stand for yourself. This doesn’t mean that you should always be arguing or that you should be confrontational, but it does mean that you should speak up when something isn’t right.
If you don’t stand up for yourself, no one else will. If you’re being treated unfairly, or if you feel like your opinion is being disregarded, speak up.
5. Be assertive, not aggressive
When you’re communicating with your partner, it’s important to be assertive, not aggressive. This means that you should express yourself clearly and calmly, without attacking or putting down your partner. If you’re feeling angry or upset, take a step back and calm down before you discuss things with your partner.
6. Be honest
Honesty is always important in a relationship. If you’re not being honest with your partner, they’re not going to trust you. This can lead to all sorts of problems down the road. If you’re not sure how to be honest with your partner, talk to a therapist or counselor who can help you figure out what to say.
7. Find the right time to talk
Timing is everything when it comes to communication. If you try to have a serious conversation with your partner when they’re in the middle of something else, they’re likely to tune you out. Instead, try to find a time when both of you are relaxed and have the time to really talk things out. This could be during a walk, after dinner, or before bed.
8. Communicate with your partner
The survey found that communication problems were cited as the most common factor that led to divorce (65 percent), followed by couples’ inability to resolve conflict (43 percent). When asked what the most common cause of divorce is, mental health professionals overwhelmingly cite communication problems. A full 65% of those surveyed said that communication difficulties are the number one reason why marriages fail.
This is closely followed by 43% who said that couples’ inability to resolve conflict is the leading cause of divorce. It’s no secret that communication is key in any relationship – but it’s especially important in marriage. After all, you’re essentially sharing your life with this person, so it’s crucial that you be able to communicate effectively with one another.
If you’re not on the same page, it can lead to all sorts of problems down the line. If you’re struggling with communication in your marriage, it’s important to seek help sooner rather than later. Otherwise, it could end up damaging your relationship permanently.
9. Raise your voice with small steps
If you’re finding it hard to speak up, start with small steps. For example, instead of saying “I don’t like that,” try “I’m not comfortable with that.” By taking small steps, you’ll slowly build up your confidence and be able to express yourself more freely.
Once you’ve started communicating, you can start to raise your voice with small steps. If there’s an issue that you feel strongly about, don’t be afraid to speak up. Your partner may not always agree with you, but they’ll respect your opinion.
10. Seek professional help
If you’re having trouble communicating with your partner, it’s OK to seek professional help. Often, couples counselors or therapists can help you learn how to communicate better with each other. This can be a great way to improve your relationship and make it healthier.
Having a voice in a relationship is important for both partners. If you’re feeling like you don’t have a voice, it’s important to communicate this to your partner and work together to find a solution. With a little effort, you can have a healthy and happy relationship where both partners feel like they have a say.
